“What, you thought I was going to do a Highly Scientific Analysis of the boys of Dawson’s Creek? Are you high? There is only one boy worth anyone’s time, and that boy is Pacey Witter, love of my high school life”
“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”—Nicholas Sparks (via aeloquence)
Sorry, but this blog is about to get real for a second
I used to think That I was one of those people who had an issue with my weight because I just really liked food. And the wrong kinds of food (picky eaters unite!). I was all “oh I’m not one of those EMOTIONAL eaters, I can totally control this”.
Until I have a day like I did yesterday and realize that I am full of shit.
Yesterday was horrible. Just a beginning to end awful day. And even worse because it was the kind of bad day where you just feel crappy and want to be left alone to revel in your shitty mood. NOTHING will make you feel better, goddamn it! And you can’t even explain to people why you’re so upset, you just ARE.
So anyways, needless to say, I was not
happy yesterday and proceeded to stuff my face with everything in sight. You know how therapists will say that you are trying to push down the feelings with food? I could actually feel myself doing it. Anytime I started to think about the things that were upsetting me, I grabbed something else to eat just to avoid feeling that for one more second.
At work one of my coworkers was like “Hungry?” and I was all “oh no, just eating my feelings over here”. I tried to play it off as a joke, but yesterday really showed me how fucked up my relationship with food still really is. Granted, those days like yesterday are much fewer and farther between than they ever used to be, but just the knowledge that I still use it as such a crutch is a little frightening.